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Your business idea is brilliant. You want to stay modest about it but you know you’ve struck gold. You develop it for years, building a prototype, establishing a brand identity, partnering with vendors, growing a client base, and now you have the numbers to prove that you’ve got a valuable company on your hands. You just need the right investor to give you that final push to the success you know you can achieve. You finally work up the nerve to give ABC a call and they’re interested! You have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pitch your company on Shark Tank! You spend weeks preparing your pitch and workshopping it with family, friends, and colleagues… it’s perfect.

The day finally arrives. You barely slept a wink last night but the adrenaline and excitement make you feel wide awake… and ready. You drive onto the studio lot and park. Before you enter, you listen to a voicemail from the love of your life promising that you can do this and that you are a success no matter what happens in there. When you arrive at the beige doors, there is no production assistant to greet you, just a sign that says “Shark Tank. Contestants enter here.” Two deep breaths. With the confidence of someone who’s already a millionaire, you push open the doors and propel yourself across the threshold.

One step and you realize it’s pitch black. One more step and you feel the rush of gravity, the shock of deep ice-cold water, and the sting of salt. You claw for the surface. If only you had used some of the time you spent building your company... learning to swim. Panicking, thrashing, you squint through the rippling mirk into the dimly lit studio. A few feet away you see the silhouette of a man, just… standing there. “Thank God!” you think - but your relief is sharply cut short as a new shape glides through the water in front of the man’s just inches from your face. Then another. Then two more. You freeze.

The light switches on. The man emerges from the shadows. It’s… Mark Cuban?! He climbs a stepladder and produces a pale aluminum bucket, crusted with dry blood. With the other hand, he holds up a faded sign with the phrase “Sorry, we have to feed the sharks somehow” printed in comic sans. He lifts the bucket. A cloud of bubbles burst from your mouth and rush to the surface. As they clear, your pleading eyes meet Mark’s and he hesitates. The serrated skin of a shark brushes your shoulder and tears the sleeve of your blazer. Mark drops the sign revealing another behind it reading: “Have you seen the new Wizards with Guns comedy sketch?” Your visible confusion is enough of an answer for him. He shakes his head… and chums the water. You close your eyes and think… I deserve this.

Music:
Enter the Maze - Kevin Macleod
Hipman - Kevin Macleod
Lord of the Land - Kevin Macleod

#SketchComedy #Comedy #SharkTank